An Unusual Adventure: Introduction

Someone recently told me that visits to and from family help keep them grounded. I’m able to see most of my family on a regular basis all things considered, and I can say I agree with my friend’s comment. But evidently I needed to be reminded of where I came from, and who I was years ago. Why? Because I had let that girl go completely. It was like I forgot who Andrea IS. I feel like I’ve been running around in circles for so long focusing so hard on being MOM and all my other titles that I left Andrea behind. But I think I’ve found her again.

I know I’m not the only person this has ever happened to. After reading countless stories of women who lost themselves, whether in motherhood and all the everyday tasks that come with it or in anything else, I know I’m one of many. But just like it is important for anyone else it is equally important for me to go on this journey- all the tears, pain, and joy included.

The only difference is that in years past I overcame obstacles, difficulties, and heartache with a clear head most of the time. And now, I have this other person along for the ride. She is not my friend in any way, and to be perfectly honest, I loathe her. But she is my dark passenger (if you were a Dexter fan, no not THAT Dark Passenger) and will make appearances for the rest of my life. Her name is Anxiety and she is cold, relentless, and ruthless. Making herself known at the most inconvenient moments, timing is her strong suit. Having said that I do know certain people, places, and things that will guarantee her presence and I do my best to avoid them.

As much as I would like to, I can’t put into words how it feels to have Anxiety around. I could try, and I have before, but unless you have experienced her yourself it’s impossible. I will say that the symptoms are mental as well as physical and any of them can be crippling. So what to do? I have asked that question, and am still figuring it out myself. This post is something of an introduction. I’m learning all the time that many, many people have a relationship with Anxiety and some don’t know what to do other than let her continually beat them down, but I refuse to accept that way of life anymore.

Through my own experience and research I’ve put together a list of different methods I’ve used to battle Anxiety. Some approaches are much more common than others, and some were new to me, but I know what works for one may not for another.

I am eager to share what I’ve learned, and along the way I will share my own experience- when Anxiety first appeared to me, my struggle to acknowledge that she was real, and how I have accepted her as a part of my life. You are welcome to follow my story and this series. I hope you will.

Love Is a Shield

“Are you sure? We could go get something to eat.” *smirk*

*smirks back* “Yes, Dad, I’m sure. We’re not going anywhere.”

The day that I had been waiting for my entire life was here. And I always heard stories about women who turned into the devil and went crazy or the women that just couldn’t.calm.down and were basket cases. But standing there just a few seconds away from my wedding, I was as cool and calm as could be, just savoring each moment. I knew that I was in the right place at the right time and I knew that I was about to walk down the aisle toward the man who knew the real me, both good and bad, and loved me anyway. 

The doors finally opened and Dad and I were given the cue to go. The strings started to play the traditional wedding processional, but I didn’t hear a single note of it. I didn’t hear anything. I saw some family members and friends smiling at me, and then I turned, and there he was. My dream. Beaming at each other, tears glistening in his eyes, and I’m sure he could see all my teeth because I was smiling so big, I walked to him.

We made it to the end of the aisle, and my dad gave me away with grace. Then hand in hand, we walked up and stood between the best wedding party in front of the pastor. I still have a copy of the wedding sermon that was given; it is beautiful. Love as a shield for a marriage. Our sacrificial love and commitment to each other, and always being mindful of the Father’s love for us in making the ultimate sacrifice so that we might live. Love is a shield.

The congregation sang my favorite hymn, Be Thou My Vision, as we lit our unity candle. The lyrics are so appropriate for the beginning of a new life, two families joining as one. After the candle was lit, and we managed not to catch anything else on fire, he said he wanted to pray for us. Forehead to forehead we cried together because we were so happy, knowing that everything we had been through as friends and while we dated had led us here, and that something amazing was just beginning.

The pastor read my favorite Scripture passage for marriage. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” He pronounced us husband and wife, and we sealed it with a kiss.

We were married!

 

 

 

It’s 5 years later today. That day will always be the best of my life because it made everything that’s happened and that will happen possible. We were just a couple of kids aged 22 then and we have certainly learned a thing or two since. A new chapter came at the start of the year, and I know that the chapters to come will be filled with joy. I still think about that sermon from time to time. Love is a shield that protects our marriage from so much that would seek to destroy it. With that shield and our focus on Almighty God, we will go through this life together. 

All photos by Jen + Ashley Photography

An Accidental Valentine's Day Post

November 14, 2013. Text message. “Wanna live in VA Beach?” Attached was a screenshot photo. I stared at my iPhone for a few seconds, then clicked on the job description. And there it was—bullet after bullet of everything my husband already was, skills he already had, requirements he met and exceeded, and the job that would change our lives.

And would you believe that I knew it then? Right then, when I read his question I knew our lives were about to change in a big way. I remember standing up, walking down to another office and telling my friend about it. Her eyes immediately filled with tears, and so did mine. And we knew. Everything was about to change. And boy has it ever….

Now my dear husband goes off to work each morning in a button down and tie, looking dashing as ever. Just this week, he had lunch with three vice presidents and the president of the company (USA) himself. He came home pink with barely controlled glee. He loves his job, enjoys the men and women he works with and some days, as crazy as it sounds, I swear he looks like he’s floating. His heart is light. And it is such a joy to see. 

The funny thing is that people my husband works with keep asking “How is your wife adjusting?” Are you kidding? No matter what we are better together, a team, each of us a reflection of the other. We are living out our dreams right now, and every day we realize how blessed we are to have realized those dreams and found the courage to go after them.

I never meant for this to be about Valentine’s Day, but it seems rather fitting. It has been 2 months since I read that text message, and so much has happened since then. But the most important thing about all of this? We have gone through it together, side by side, learning how to love each other better than before. I don’t think I could ask for anything more. 

“I have found the one whom my soul loves.” Song of Solomon 3:4