Someone recently
told me that visits to and from family help keep them grounded. I’m able to
see most of my family on a regular basis all things considered, and I can say I
agree with my friend’s comment. But evidently I needed to be reminded of where
I came from, and who I was years ago. Why? Because I had let that girl go
completely. It was like I forgot who Andrea IS. I feel like I’ve been running around
in circles for so long focusing so hard on being MOM and all my other titles
that I left Andrea behind. But I think I’ve found her again.
I know I’m not the
only person this has ever happened to. After reading countless stories of women
who lost themselves, whether in motherhood and all the everyday tasks that come
with it or in anything else, I know I’m one of many. But just like it is
important for anyone else it is equally important for me to go on this journey-
all the tears, pain, and joy included.
The only difference
is that in years past I overcame obstacles, difficulties, and heartache with a
clear head most of the time. And now, I have this other person along for the
ride. She is not my friend in any way, and to be perfectly honest, I loathe
her. But she is my dark passenger (if you were a Dexter fan, no not THAT Dark
Passenger) and will make appearances for the rest of my life. Her name is
Anxiety and she is cold, relentless, and ruthless. Making herself known at the
most inconvenient moments, timing is her strong suit. Having said that I do
know certain people, places, and things that will guarantee her presence and I
do my best to avoid them.
As much as I would
like to, I can’t put into words how it feels to have Anxiety around. I could
try, and I have before, but unless you have experienced her yourself it’s
impossible. I will say that the symptoms are mental as well as physical and any
of them can be crippling. So what to do? I have asked that question, and am
still figuring it out myself. This post is something of an introduction. I’m
learning all the time that many, many people have a relationship with Anxiety
and some don’t know what to do other than let her continually beat them down, but
I refuse to accept that way of life anymore.
Through my own
experience and research I’ve put together a list of different methods I’ve used
to battle Anxiety. Some approaches are much more common than others, and some
were new to me, but I know what works for one may not for another.
I am eager to share
what I’ve learned, and along the way I will share my own experience- when
Anxiety first appeared to me, my struggle to acknowledge that she was real, and
how I have accepted her as a part of my life. You are welcome to follow my
story and this series. I hope you will.
